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In Bed with the Enemy
Author: Mike Durand

When you start smoking it’s normally with just one cigarette a day, that lovely one just after dinner. Then you start having a couple smokes with your coffee in the morning, Those are grrreat, they get you started twice as fast and let’s face it in today’s busy world a fast start is just what we need. Then you add one after lunch. Then there’s the mid afternoon smoke, when you need a small break. You find that you like one or two with drinks…Okay, we’ve all been there, you’re officially hooked. The cigarette count just goes up and up and up. Pretty soon you HAVE to have a cigarette to get you started and one just before bed. But may we point this out: Cigarettes in bed are a completely rotten idea.

There are a few good reasons for this. The first is that it is dangerous. It is not just an urban legend that people start fires this way. It happens with enough frequency that you should pay attention. I know, I can hear you now. I am awake and alert. I am careful. This won’t happen to me. But it does, to even the careful ones. It is not just that people fall asleep in bed with lit cigarettes; it is that they are not paying attention and while they practice their distraction they have a lit flame in their hands. They are chatting on the phone. They are on their laptops. They are watching TV and they get up and get something to eat and they come back and whoops, the bed is on fire. I know it sounds extreme, but that is exactly the point. It is not extreme; it is more common than you know.

Now there are some other good reasons why smoking in bed is a terrible idea. You may not be aware, being the smoker, that cigarette smoke stinks up a room like there is no tomorrow, but it does. It seeps into the sheets, the pillows, the curtains, and the clothes closet. If you live the life of a hermit, and no one, virtually no one comes into your bedroom then maybe you can live with this. But most people do live with others, and they live with them because they like them, so it might be worth thinking about; each time someone enters your bedroom and smells the tobacco stink they want to run for the hills.

You can take this argument one step further, into romantic territory, and consider this: If you share a bedroom with someone you love or, more interesting, if you WANT to share it with someone you love, don’t stink up the prospects, so to speak. Don’t make one of the loveliest rooms in the house a choke-filled den. That idea stinks, okay?

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